she's on the pot

I love marijuana. It makes me so happy. I wish I could keep a little vial of THC in my pocket for whenever I wanted to automatically feel happy. It's amazing to experience another consciousness, another side of yourself that only comes out when you ingest the chemical.

Just now I was outside in the jungle of my back yard, under the night sky, smoking out of an apple. I just sat there on the ground next to the pool, thinking about how everything wasn't lost for me. This past year I've given up hope and stopped trying for the things that I love, and now I don't love anything. I'm afraid to fail and don't even try. I'm pathetic.

But at least I notice now that I am perfection in my imperfection. And I deserve the most amazing future -- just as much as anyone else. I'm going to take this and forge my life. I can't sit back and wait for it, because then I'll be waiting forever.